明星低谷之：黛米?洛瓦托敞开心扉谈

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While Demi Lovato has been pretty open in discussing her eating disorder and trip to rehab, but in the August issue of Self magazine she discusses the things that made her cut herself for the first time.

The new "X Factor" judge answers a series of questions from readers ranging from what it's like to work on the FOX show ("so much fun!") to what she learned in rehab. On the latter point, she says, "I've spent the past two years getting over an eating disorder and issues like self-harming and bipolar disorder. Unlike a person who doesn't have these problems, I have to work on this stuff every day. I'm reminded of that whenever I eat or feel down."

More from the Self interview:

On self-harming: "There were times I felt so anxious, almost like I was crawling out of my skin, that if I didn't do something physical to match the way I felt inside, I would explode. I cut myself to take my mind off that. I just didn't care what happened. I had no fear."

Her relationship with fellow former Disney star Selena Gomez: "Selena and I aren't as close as we used to be, but she'll always have a place in my heart."

Being diagnosed as bipolar: "Finding out I had a real emotional disorder helped me put together the pieces of the puzzle. I remember being on my tour bus thinking, 'My life is so awesome right now, but I'm so depressed.' Then, a few days later, I'd be on top of the world. It was really confusing. When I got diagnosed, my life made more sense."

Working on being happy: "You can choose to work toward happiness or not. I used to expect it to come to me, but it takes more than seeing a therapist once a week. I make time for myself and meditate. And I haven't used my cell in three months! Subconsciously, it was a crutch. When a room gets quiet, what do you do? Grab your phone! Now I can sit and have conversations with people."

尽管黛米•洛瓦托（Demi Lovato）一贯不避谈自己的饮食失调症和痊愈院之旅，但在八月版的《Self》杂志里她首次谈到了自残的起因。

这位《X音素》（"X Factor"）新晋评委回答了一系列来自读者的提问，包括担当《X音素》评委的感想（“太有意思了！”），以及在痊愈院期间的收获等等。谈到后面这个问题，黛米说道：“从前两年里，我始终在克服饮食失调和自残、躁郁等问题。和没有此类困扰的人不同，我每天都得应答这些问题，每每吃饭或情感低落我都深受影响。”此外，黛米还向《Self》杂志讲述了很多心路进程。对自残问题她说道：“有几回我感到非常焦虑，那种感情几乎要撑破我的皮囊，甚至于我觉得假如身体做点什么去迎合这种它的话，我会爆炸的。我不想再着急所以拿刀子割了自己，压根不去管也不害怕这样做会有什么结果,英语培训。”

谈到与同为迪士尼童星诞生的赛琳娜．戈麦斯（Selena Gomez）之间的友谊，黛米说：“赛琳娜跟我确实没像以前那么亲密了，但我心里永远有个位置属于她。”

对被诊断为躁郁症一事，黛米说：“获悉自己确有情绪混乱问题时，我将过去的困惑缓缓拼凑起来。我想起自己曾坐在巡演巴士上想：“我的声明是那么美妙，但我却是如此沮丧。”而几天后我又感到幸福到极点。这种情绪真得很让人迷惑。所以被确诊为躁郁症后，我才将自己的生活看得更明白."

当初，黛米努力让自己变得快乐，她说：“人可以决定是否为幸福而奋斗。我曾经期盼幸福来敲门，但这远远不是一周看一次心理医生就能实现的。于是我留出时间静静冥想，我曾经连续三个月不用手机。潜意识里，手机是个精神支柱。如果房间里静下来，你会做什么？当然是拿起手机！但现在，我能够坐着跟人们聊聊天。”